black hat sessions I have attended, translated into their wizarding equivalents

• welcome to hogwarts; making the most of your time here; the sorting hat and scalp hygiene
• banishment incantations for fun and profit
• in-depth grammatical analysis of this season’s newest death curses
• impersonating your enemies’ familiars
• enlargement potion toxicosis: what you should know
• advanced techniques for inconspicuous demonic possession
• how one might whisper to castle stones and lo, the sleeping rock shall reveal thy neighbor’s secrets